I have a friend who ALWAYs and almost only calls me when she has time to waste. Eg. She will call me when she is driving from one location to another and has nothing else to do. Other than that, she rarely calls.
And she only asks me out when she is waiting for something later on, but has nothing to do now. Otherwise, it would be that she has an appt in town and has nothing else after that, so she decided you can make your way down to meet her right after her appt. Eg. If she has a dinner appt, she will call me out to meet her for coffee (because between lunch and dinner, she has nothing to do.) And this happens ALL the time and meeting her is seldom a pre-planned thing. The only times you meet this friend, is because she has something later / earlier on but has nothing to do NOW.
To make things worse, she expects you to meet her where her appts are. Should I still keep such a friend? Or should I simply not meet them again?
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Gender aside, It depends on how much you value this friendship.
posted 3/5/2009 12:05:50 AM
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MoogieBoogie 4 thanks received
6 posts
Well, then it comes the question of... would you value a friendship where your friend is merely "utilizating" you?
Of course, we would argue that true friends ask of nothing in return, but..is that really the case? There might come a stage where he/she actually no longer thinks of you as a friend..
posted 3/5/2009 12:10:01 AM
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Alison 1 thanks received
3 posts
Well, is all up to individual, if you have time to spare for her, then go..otherwise, you don't have to
posted 3/6/2009 9:54:51 AM
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della 1 thanks received
1 posts
sadly this hardly sounds like a friend to me :(
u should infact use that time to make new better real frnz in the time u spend for the person/s !!
either u talk to the person let them know how u feel n c how it goes n if it doesn work out then stay away !
but i guess u ve already dont smthng abt it since the msg s pretty old :)
posted 8/12/2009 1:29:10 PM
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Lim Dawei 36 thanks received
133 posts
Ya della, you are right. Like you said, this post has been very old. I encountered a similar friendship. It was faded and no contact was made for 3 months.
But sometimes, things are really hard to say. Currently, we are friends again but meet only once or twice a month. I guess somehow, its' just human behavior. When you rarely get to meet, you tend to treasure the friendship more and will go the extra mile. When it is always there, we simply go abit overboard and take things for granted.
posted 8/13/2009 10:38:59 PM
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mq 0 thanks received
1 posts
i agree with della. without any communication, there's always room for misunderstandings. it's always the best to talk things out first; you shouldn't just decide yourself on whether to make or break the friendship.
posted 11/24/2009 2:33:06 PM
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Suhaila Senin 155 thanks received
175 posts
sadly, u'r a friend of convenience to her.. either u could treat her the same way, or just walk away from the friendship.. friends like these are just a waste of energy & time..
posted 11/24/2009 9:57:20 PM
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Steven Tan 1 thanks received
2 posts
If you are interested in her, then it will work differently.
posted 12/1/2009 8:37:59 AM
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Samantha 8 thanks received
10 posts
I guess, either way, the main thing is to recognise that you have a choice! You should not feel obligated to meet her if you do not want to. You might want to let her know how you feel, if this is affecting you a fair bit, if you see that this friendship is worth working on.
posted 12/1/2009 6:27:43 PM
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YU CHENGHUI 0 thanks received
3 posts
I think u should sit down and have a talk to clear this up before you think about ending this friendship. Its always better to bear your heart out about your concerns. If she is truly a friend, she will listen and attempt to change.
If all else fails, you can call off such a friendship.
